How to Listen

I'm going through some old pages I tore out of magazines... it's interesting to see what has interested me through the years. Here's a good one that makes sense and applies to my life personally and professionally. I feel I'm a pretty good listener... colleagues often come to me to vent/chat... I hope my friends feel I'm a good listener... I'm sure Derek would challenge my listening skills occasionally (but only occasionally LOL!) but a refresher course is always nice. Here's a great excerpt on listening that I feel is a valuable message:

How to Listen by Jeanne Safer, PhD (NYC psychotherapist)

"You can't fake good listening. You've got to be seriously passionately - interested in hearing what someone has to say. Anything else is diplomacy: effective, but cold. So unless civility dictates a polite effort (at a dinner party, for instance), a polite exit is preferable to faking it.

Real listening is a combination of curiosity, concentration, and commitment, a willingness to follow another's point of view with no preconceived notions. It's also very active. I lean forward; I cock my head, and often find that I've unconsciously assumed the same posture as the speaker. My focus is not on me; it's all about helping her go deeper. And as a result, I always end up going deeper into myself."

Hmmm... something to ponder the next time you're engaged in a *deep* conversation personally or professionally.